Excruciatingly Beautiful

Those exquisite blue eyes overflowing with tears.

That once incredible face now filled

with earth shattering fear.

You are fading into oblivion with

your face so worn and ashen.

Catching a glimpse of the agonizing bruising, 

I realized with heartfelt grief that you are still using.

Reality sinks in when I notice your wrists.

Your eyes filled with ailing motionless mist.

Your emaciated body stretched out in a jagged stance

That by using and abusing, life grabbed away your chance.

A Chocolate Milkshake

I am so filled with melancholy today.

Needing arms wrapped around me

reassuring me that everything

Is going to be alright.

So sad, filled with an inexplicable sense of emptiness.

My sense of life is drifting away

into an abyss of gloom and loneliness.

Why has this awful feeling revisited me,

back to haunt me of days gone by.

Days which were overflowing with so much light      

and a sense of warmth that

ran through my veins like a chocolate milkshake.

I feel as though I have

swallowed a thousand swords.

Falling from the sky

the snowflakes give me no respite;

reminding me of the dismal torrent of tears

that have consumed me today.

Mirror

No one can conceal the truth

There’s a solitary being

 This unquestionably cannot be me

I see the facade of myself

But comprehend that there is more

One dimension is all I perceive

Unquestionably there must be others

Don’t persecute me

Don’t judge me

 You don’t know me

I am a person with skin

Bones and flesh

You perceive what you want to see

Why don’t you look a little harder?

You’re rejecting me purely by

Looking at the surface

Have the audacity

Present yourself

Imagine you are fearless

With trepidation and

A sense of foreboding

I walk through the mirror

I see myself looking at me

How can you judge

When I’m looking in

I’m an individual

With qualities of my own

No guise or perfection

What you see

Is me

I am human

Downpour

They’re squirreling off to work in the drizzling misty rain
The screech of the tires piercing my already damaged brain

Dark grey skies manipulating the day

Feelings of fear dictate the flavour of my stay

Pockets of depression litter the darkness of the sky

Desperation overwhelming me as I crouch down to cry

Droplets of uselessness invade my distorted thinking

Living in harmony with the world disappears without blinking

Penetrating Fear

I am gripped by the desolation of this penetrating fear
As this greying fearful light reverberates sharply in my ear

Perpetually spinning around on the rim of sanity

The mirror gesticulating wildly at this so called vanity

Suspended in motion my thoughts seem to be galloping

Crying out to anyone who has a vague notion of listening

This illness taunts me with intent so malicious
Who would think that anguish could be so condemning and vicious

Like an echo this sequence resonates in my brain

So many creatures crawling around in my pain

Insignificant we are it just cannot be placed

This is but a fraction of the hollow human race

Holes

Holes, holes all over the place

Why is the world filled with this nonsensical stuff?

They’re in the atmosphere, the walls and the floors,

Black holes waiting to be filled with divergent melancholy

This dark black hole will consume you alive

We all have a hole to gratify, to ascend out of the darkness

The comprehension that the tangible will never fill the abyss

This hole in my heart, my soul, and my head

Why won’t the monsters scurry to their dwellings?

The pills they declare will chase them away

Green ones, blue ones, orange and white

A transient fix I know to be true

We need to ascend from the bleakness where the monsters consume

And the bloodsuckers suck the existence from our core

We’re restless in our inner self

We have to fill our own cracks and holes

To take possession of them in our own isolation

Shadows

The depression kicks in with retaliation

The skies are greyer than grey.


My shadow on the wall mocks me


You’ve been touched by the warmth


Its now time to suffer


My shadow can escape the gloominess


By fleeing towards the sizzling sun


Avoidance of this bitter cold is hopeless you see

A little bit of me dies at this time, can barely survive

I cannot break away; it’s in my remains for the duration

The inhumane torture of the horrendous arctic wind

My shadow scorns me, Laughs with satisfaction

Don’t be greedy

You’ve had your fill, your moment in time

Basking in the sun, idling the glorious away

Take it, survive it with no protest.

Exhausted, I wrestle with the notion

No time left for contemplation

I rip it from the wall with all my might

I shred it, and tear it into a million pieces.

It lingers for an instant, and slowly dissipates

Gasping for one last breath

It dies it dies