Winter Storm

The winter storm rages at the top of its lungs

I’ll give it a whipping with my acidic tongue

You won’t get me down with your eternal thrashing

I’d love to see you get one horrible bashing

The ice the snow, the never ending squalls

For weather this treacherous you got to have balls

You’re wretched vindictive, and spiteful too  

Not to worry you misery I’ll see you through

Sipping hot chocolate is the only cure

Think I’ll stay in my pj’s for the rest of the year

Invention Of Man

God was undoubtedly the first inventor of man, and laid out

his scheme to the angels and said, umm not a bad plan

He formed man into a creature quite statuesque

and then said to himself, well he’s not too grotesque

God had too many pieces and wondered what to do

so he stuck on bits of glue and stuff and created something new

He breathed the breath of life into the mans faultless body

and then he noticed his work was a little sloppy

God looked at man, and said that would be explained

but first I’ll call you Adam, so therefore that’ll be your name

Adam’s flawless body enchanted him so

apart from the droopy thing hanging down below 

God decided he needed company, and so Eve was born;

she was the most heavenly creature but looked so forlorn

God always intended for Adam to have a wife

but when he coupled them together he realized there’d be strife

Adam gazed at Eve and realized he was quite warm;

his droopy thing was doing tricks, oy veh was that the norm?

Eve asked God if there was something for her pain

And he said don’t worry my sweetheart

 I’ve bestowed upon you the brains

The Dreaded D Word

Someone with an evil mind created the word diet

I’d love to torture them, torment them with pure delight

There are so many different diets too numerous to mention

All I know is every Monday I start with good intentions

I’m sick and tired of eating cabbage for seven days

Slimfast shakes, celery and the high protein craze

The connotation here is definitely somewhat plain

The diet was intended by a sadist whose bliss is pain

My hands are sweating, the next diet I’m dreading

Subconsciously I know the ominous bulges are spreading

Eat nothing but vegetables, drink water till you’re full

All these ludicrous diets are to me a load of bull

Crimson Lipstick

I consider myself an over the hill bohemian

Eyes so bright and lipstick quite crimson

Loving what I wear, not caring what others think

I suppose sometimes I create quite a stink

Thai fisherman pants and long colored robes

There just too many people who like to probe

Tibetan pants, Indian clothes too

I like to look different and nothing like you

No one is telling you to look identical

Just respect my wishes and let me feel plentiful

I enjoy being unusual and a little unique

And would never belong to any clique

If you don’t like the approach I take

Please just get over it for your own sake

So Sublime

Chocolate oh chocolate why do you even exist

Your rich silky pleasure is excruciating to resist

My frivolous desires always get the better of me

Sweet oh luscious chocolate wouldn’t you agree

It’s sugary and syrupy, so bitter and lovable

To put on weight is definitely worth the trouble

Think of the contentment as it melts in the mouth

I’d rather have chocolate than travel down south

Eating chocolate is my soul reason for living

People who don’t like chocolate are totally baffling

My greatest desire in living is my craving for the stuff

Without the taste of chocolate my life would be so rough

There’s mars bars and twix and reeses too

Peppermint crisps. Top deck and dunkaroos

There’s no greater pleasure than a chocolate fountain

For this I would readily climb the highest mountain

The Blog

It's been very cathartic writing this blog

When my mind is no longer surrounded by fog

Sublime, so therapeutic, it did wonders for me

I thought I’d share it for the whole world to see

Writing does wonders for my self esteem

It wasn’t just started for me just to dream

I thought I’d do it just for a lark

Forgetting my poetry was mostly so dark

My mind is not so incredibly empty
So carry on reading there’ll still be plenty