Someone with an evil mind created the word diet
I’d love to torture them, torment them with pure delight
There are so many different diets too numerous to mention
All I know is every Monday I start with good intentions
I’m sick and tired of eating cabbage for seven days
Slimfast shakes, celery and the high protein craze
The connotation here is definitely somewhat plain
The diet was intended by a sadist whose bliss is pain
My hands are sweating, the next diet I’m dreading
Subconsciously I know the ominous bulges are spreading
Eat nothing but vegetables, drink water till you’re full
All these ludicrous diets are to me a load of bull
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